My Rambling Thoughts

I'm sure after the most recent blogs our lives sound horrible and painful.  While going through Joe's first experience with cancer was definitely not a day in the park - there were several episodes that would have ended up on American's funniest videos.  Let me share a couple. Joe had to have a feeding tube inserted so that he would be able to get nourishment when his throat became too burnt to swallow.  And it did.  He fought it for a few days until he lost so much weight between doctor visits that a threat from Dr. W. of being put in the hospital convinced him he needed to embrace the tube.  I would prepare this concoction (about 3,000 calories 3 X a day) of Carnation instant breakfast, ensure, muscle builder, powdered milk, morphine (great shake addition) and ground up other pills and medications.  It would make a liquid a little thinner than pancake batter and I would use a large syringe and push it into the feeding tube.  This first tube actually went into his stom

The holidays are over.   The doctors want to do a second round of chemo only this time they are adding a new drug - Fluorouracil ( 5FU ).   This is an old chemo and has been very successful in the treatment for non-small cell cancers.   The doctors were so very pleased with Joe’s condition and his continued improvement from the chemo and radiation in the fall.   They felt they had gotten it all with the very aggressive treatment but this was maintenance.   Like I said, make sure none of those little cells had escaped. The one thing different this time was Joe had an extreme allergic reaction to the drugs.   I am going to share in this blog parts (parts that are not included have no impact on the “story”) of the emails sent the end of January thru February.   I will let them tell the story.   Please note – this is very long because it covers 21 days of sharing   information.   Twenty-one days in which Joe traveled the complete circle of life.   Parts are intense.   Parts are s

After we spent a few days walking around in a daze we realized that we were not ready to give up.  When Dr R1 called to say that he had Joe's surgery date scheduled he told the Dr. that he had decided to get a second opinion.  Dr. R1 was less than pleased to hear that but he did recommend Ironwood Cancer Center.  Don't think that we were not still rocked to the core with this news - it was almost more than anyone could even imagine.  Joe cried - a lot - saying he was sorry he was leaving me with the girls so young.  It broke my heart for him to think he had anything to do with being diagnosed with cancer.  There were so many emotions and  feelings that crossed our minds and hearts in the 10 days between being handed a life sentence and the first meeting with the medical oncologist at Ironwood.  Never once tho did Joe ever ask "why me" or even question God about why this could happen.  I can tell you that over the next 8 years until Joe's death, he never said t

My Rambling Thoughts: I've Got What? : CANCER!!!!   Where did that come from???   OK, we can do this, a little surgery – snip snip, a little radiation – zap zap and Joe will ...

In June of 2006 our family (Joe, Kaitlin, Julie and myself) spent some time in Seattle before boarding an Alaskan cruise and while there we visited with Joe’s sister in law, Mary, who is a nurse. Driving around with Mary sitting behind him she noticed a lump on the side of his neck and questioned what it was.  She was insistent that he see a doctor soon if not now .  We promised her that he would go as soon as he got home.  We had not been aware of any lump so we were surprised because when she pointed it out it was quite obvious but when you see someone every day you don’t see the subtle changes.  We enjoyed our cruise but looking back at pictures I can see the worry in Joe’s face.  Once back home Joe went back to work and I made his doctor’s appointments to follow up just like we promised.   I hate to admit this but we didn’t have a doctor.   We were just never sick and if we were we would go to a local urgent care so first step was with urgent care.   They examined him a