Seriously?

I am sitting here this morning numb.  I am numb with fear off an enemy I know way too well.  An enemy I never wanted to see again.  An enemy that seems to come after Joe with an anger and vengeance.

I find it almost impossible that I am writing words exactly the same as almost a year to the date.

I am numb.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Another Cancer? Must be August.

February 2007 was a major turning point in our lives.  We no longer took things for granted.  We no longer failed to thank God every morning for giving us another day of life.  We enjoyed our lives. Life quickly returned to normal. Joe went back to work in July of 2007, flying here and there every week.  We  put cancer behind us, well at least we tried.  Every cough, every sore throat, every funny twinge brought the fear very much to the forefront of our minds.  Every 6 month check up was pure torture.  Fear of what they were going to say.  What they were going to find.  One year came and went.  Two years, three, four, five.  Five years that's the biggie - that's CANCER FREE .  How wonderful it felt to reach that mark and begin our now cancer free walk into the sixth year.  It became a little easier to say I HAD cancer.  We were living the life........until August 2012   Julie caught a horrible cold....
Read more
Image
  I've known  since I was 8 years old that I would someday die from either a heart attack or a stroke.  Almost everyone on both sides of my parents' families have died from a heart issue or a stroke.  Even at that young age, I didn't need an explanation. In spite of  this theory and my growing annoyance by my Apple Watch shouting "Your heart has shown signs of an irregular rhythm suggestive of atrial fibrillation" I was still shocked when at my last cardiologist appointment, the doctor walked in and said "you are in afib".  My appointment six months prior had ended so wonderful - blood pressure lower than it's been in years, weight going down and just feeling great so I was not expecting that diagnosis at all.  Atrial Fibrillation -  The heart's upper chambers (atria) beat out of coordination with the lower chambers.  During a normal heartbeat, the upper chambers (atria) and lower chambers (ventricles) of the heart work together to pum...
Read more

I Miss You Quite Terribly

Image
"But I must admit, I miss you quite terribly.  The world is too quiet without you nearby"  Lemony Snicket.   When I was 11 years old , my mom and dad pulled my sister, Julie, and I out of school early.  We were not heading for a vacation but a journey of another sorts.  We were told that our dad had stage IV Throat Cancer and would not be alive by the end of the month.  The plan was to pause life, go to Tijuana, and wait for the cancer to kill my father. Fortunately, that doctor was wrong and we all had 8 more years with my dad.  The years came with things I wish I did not know.  I wish that at 11, I had not become familiar with names and side effect of chemotherapy.  When my friends were playing at recess I would sit and stare at the hospital.  How lucky we were that our house, elementary school and the hospital are all within 5 minutes of each other. When I was older and my dad became sick again, I would get a flu shot ev...
Read more