Time to Stop Searching

 I have been blessed with a lot of friends over the almost 70 years of my life. Looking back, I find myself asking one question over and over.

Why do I keep finding the same kind of friendship?

I seem to be drawn to people who need someone to listen. They want to tell me every detail of the latest family drama, the controlling parent, the difficult coworker, the unfair situation… and I listen. I really listen. Twenty minutes, thirty minutes—it doesn’t matter. If they need someone, I’m there.

But when I try to share something from my own life, it feels like I get about ten seconds before I can almost see the interest disappear. If I share a fear, a hurt, a worry, or just something that’s weighing on me, it somehow gets brushed aside. Sometimes I’m even told that what I’m experiencing isn’t the same, as though my feelings need to qualify before they deserve to be heard.

It leaves me wondering… how do I keep attracting this dynamic? Is it something in me? Do I simply give off the impression that I’m here to carry everyone else’s burdens while quietly holding onto my own?

The truth is, I do have one friend. We’ve been friends for nearly 30 years. Our children grew up together and remain best friends. I trust her with my heart and soul. We have shared the highest highs and the lowest lows. When we talk, we both listen. We celebrate. We cry. We laugh. Neither of us is keeping score.

Life has gotten busy. Jobs, children, grandchildren, and distance mean we don’t get nearly enough time together. Sometimes we only steal an hour here or there, but somehow we manage to pack an entire week’s worth of conversation into that one hour.

Maybe that’s what real friendship is.

Maybe I’ve spent too much time searching for something I already have.

Not every person is meant to know our fears. Not every friendship has to be deep. Some people are meant to share a meal, a laugh, or a season of life—and that’s enough.

Perhaps the mistake isn’t that I’ve only found one true friend.

Perhaps the blessing is that I found one at all.

Because one person who truly knows your heart is worth more than a hundred who only know your stories.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Image
  I've known  since I was 8 years old that I would someday die from either a heart attack or a stroke.  Almost everyone on both sides of my parents' families have died from a heart issue or a stroke.  Even at that young age, I didn't need an explanation. In spite of  this theory and my growing annoyance by my Apple Watch shouting "Your heart has shown signs of an irregular rhythm suggestive of atrial fibrillation" I was still shocked when at my last cardiologist appointment, the doctor walked in and said "you are in afib".  My appointment six months prior had ended so wonderful - blood pressure lower than it's been in years, weight going down and just feeling great so I was not expecting that diagnosis at all.  Atrial Fibrillation -  The heart's upper chambers (atria) beat out of coordination with the lower chambers.  During a normal heartbeat, the upper chambers (atria) and lower chambers (ventricles) of the heart work together to pum...
Read more

The History of Cancer in Joe Keresty

I've been asked by several people for more information about my husband Joe.  Many people in our lives  have been there since forever.  Others we have met in real life and thru electronic media along the way. Those who lived these experiences with us - thank you.  Those who have joined us along the way - thank you.  Our support network is incredible in so many ways. In August 2006 Joe was diagnosed with Stage IV Throat and Neck cancer.  This started from a tumor at the base of his tongue that was never diagnosed or treated until it metastasized into his lymph nodes in his neck and the swelling became visible.  Well, not to us but to a family member who had not seen him in a few years.  Initial diagnosis from a ENT - you will be dead by the end of the month.  OK - his exact words when Joe said he had to go back to work for an important meeting 10 days after diagnosis and before starting treatment "You might have a  week but you don't ha...
Read more

Starting Over - or as I call it - Bringing Life back to my Living

Image
This week I heard the words The  Lord  God said, “It is not good for the  man  to be  alone . I will make a helper suitable for him.”             Genesis 2:18 I heard this as I was joined hand to hand with my future husband.   Future being moments away.  As we stood looking at each other with an excitement level higher than I've not know for way too long, Pastor Hartke reminded us both that we had been through a year that has been less than kind to us.  Marriage - a new start, a new life, a new family, a new me!  Our new marriage does not remove memories, both good and bad.  Our new marriage does not erase all the pain, sorrow and loss that these two  families have experienced over the years, especially this past year.  Our new marriage does not erase all the joys, blessings and happiness these two families have experienced over the years.   What we will do is daily, do our ...
Read more