Stop the World

Did you know:

• Depressive disorders affect approximately 18.8 million American adults or about 9.5% of the U.S. population age 18 and older in a given year. This includes major depressive disorder, dysthymic disorder, and bipolar disorder.

• Everyone, will at some time in their life be affected by depression -- their own or someone else's.

• Pre-schoolers are the fastest-growing market for antidepressants. At least four percent of preschoolers -- over a million -- are clinically depressed.

• The rate of increase of depression among children is an astounding 23%

• 15% of the population of most developed countries suffers severe depression.

• 30% of women are depressed. Men's figures were previously thought to be half that of women, but new estimates are higher

• 54% of people believe depression is a personal weakness.

• 41% of depressed women are too embarrassed to seek help. 

• 80% of depressed people are not currently having any treatment.

• 92% of depressed African-American males do not seek treatment

• 15% of depressed people will commit suicide.

• Depression will be the second largest killer after heart disease by 2020 -- and studies show depression is a contributory factor to fatal coronary disease. 

Why do I care about these statistics?

A few weeks ago my daughter Kaitlin was diagnosed with depression.  There were several weeks leading up to that diagnosis.  Weeks, actually months, of crying, not sleeping, not eating, sadness, lack of motivation but the final straw – so to speak – were the words “I’m thinking about doing something to make this all stop”.  Words no parent ever wants to hear.  We were fortunate enough to find a counselor for her that next day.  A person that Kaitlin likes, trusts and feels comfortable around.  We were also fortunate enough to find an incredible doctor that listened to Kaitlin and agreed that what she was feeling was not “normal”.  This was after her pediatrician suggested she just get more sleep and eat a plant diet.  Just the thing a 16 year old depressed girl wants to hear.

Two months ago we had no idea what depression was let alone how to deal with it and make it go away.  The past few weeks have been a blur of reading medical articles,  google searches, talking to doctors and friends and praying.  Always praying.  I’ve been surprised at the lack of knowledge the public has regarding depression – because now I’ve read things and I’m educated on the topic.  (this said very tongue in cheek.)  You can’t just stop feeling sad or angry or upset.  The spiraling takes control and nothing you do can stop it.  This is not a feeling or emotion that you can just turn off and on at your whim.  Lately I’ve seen Kaitlin singing and appearing happy with the world and something triggers in her brain and she’s reduced to a pile of tears in seconds.  I’ve seen her in the car going to school only to get there and be frozen in terror at the thought of opening the door and getting out.  I’ve seen the look in her eyes as she looks at me through tears begging me to “Mommy make it stop hurting”.  It’s not a matter of being mad at someone or being hurt or being afraid or really any rational thought.  It’s an uncontrollable feeling of despair and being out of control.

Did you see the statistic above that states a 23% increase in depression among teenagers.  And the scariest part of that statistic is that 15% of those suffering depression will commit suicide.  One year ago this weekend a 13 year old 8^th grade boy at our church decided that suicide was the only way out for him.  Boys seem to be able to hide being depressed easier than girls because we teach our boys that men don’t cry.  Whatever made him take this way we will probably never really know. 

When I let Kaitlin read this before I published it her comment was “Do it!  I want everyone to know how horrible this feeling is.”  We have discovered that the general population has no idea what depression is or how uncontrollable it is or what exactly to say.  Trust me, I have said the wrong thing many times over the past few months.  All I can right now is be here to listen to her.  Hold her when she cries.  Tell her that the pain will stop.  Pray for her.  Love her.