I Miss You Quite Terribly
"But I must admit, I miss you quite terribly. The world is too quiet without you nearby" Lemony Snicket.
When I was 11 years old, my mom and dad pulled my sister, Julie, and I out of school early. We were not heading for a vacation but a journey of another sorts. We were told that our dad had stage IV Throat Cancer and would not be alive by the end of the month. The plan was to pause life, go to Tijuana, and wait for the cancer to kill my father.
Fortunately, that doctor was wrong and we all had 8 more years with my dad. The years came with things I wish I did not know. I wish that at 11, I had not become familiar with names and side effect of chemotherapy. When my friends were playing at recess I would sit and stare at the hospital. How lucky we were that our house, elementary school and the hospital are all within 5 minutes of each other.
When I was older and my dad became sick again, I would get a flu shot every year, mainly our of fear that I would make him ill. We did have fun times: the four of us enjoying Europe and all it has to offer, Dad and I bonding over being sick, joining Relay for Life and daily celebrations and victories.
I miss my dad every day. Whenever I hear Crackling' Rosie by Neil Diamond at work, whenever I wear an item of his clothes, pretty much all the time.
I wish he were alive to experience more and teach me even more how to be the most loving and caring person I can be. I know though if he had lived, the cancer would have come back, as it always did. My father, albeit blunt and firm, was the best man I'v ever known. If he were alive, I'd have one less tattoo, a few less tears and one less day to remind me of him.
Everything in life is up to the Universe and we cannot control it, no matter our wishes.
For you, a thousand times over.
When I was 11 years old, my mom and dad pulled my sister, Julie, and I out of school early. We were not heading for a vacation but a journey of another sorts. We were told that our dad had stage IV Throat Cancer and would not be alive by the end of the month. The plan was to pause life, go to Tijuana, and wait for the cancer to kill my father. 
When I was older and my dad became sick again, I would get a flu shot every year, mainly our of fear that I would make him ill. We did have fun times: the four of us enjoying Europe and all it has to offer, Dad and I bonding over being sick, joining Relay for Life and daily celebrations and victories.
I miss my dad every day. Whenever I hear Crackling' Rosie by Neil Diamond at work, whenever I wear an item of his clothes, pretty much all the time.
I wish he were alive to experience more and teach me even more how to be the most loving and caring person I can be. I know though if he had lived, the cancer would have come back, as it always did. My father, albeit blunt and firm, was the best man I'v ever known. If he were alive, I'd have one less tattoo, a few less tears and one less day to remind me of him. Everything in life is up to the Universe and we cannot control it, no matter our wishes.
For you, a thousand times over.
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