It Can't be Cancer - It's Not August

As we begin 2014 we are excited to be starting a new year.  A new chance at life and a year of living in health.  After the cancer on the brain scare there were so many test done that if there had been a nano chance of the cancer coming back it would have been seen by now.  EVERYTHING has been X-Rayed, scanned, poked, probed - you name it. Last October Joe received an "all clear" from his oncologist following his surgery and treatment for lung cancer on his brain. The doctor told him that he wanted to repeat the tests (MRI, CTScan, blood work) the end of January and if all was clear again, he would be released to return to work. For the past week and a half Joe had those tests and today we went to the oncologist's office for the review.

The scans of the brain were all clear as were the scans of his lung. However, they discovered that the lung cancer had metastasized into his liver. We did NOT see that coming at all. Hadn't even considered it because all of the areas that he had had cancer were fine. The immediate plan was to perform a biopsy on the areas to determine that it is in fact metastasized lung cancer but his oncologist was fairly confident that it is cancer. We have an appointment next Friday to plan treatment which will include chemotherapy and some experimental treatment.  We walk out of the doctor's office in total silence - both of us lost in our thoughts and thinking things that we could never say out loud.

Schedules are made to take biopsies of some areas of the liver to determine how progressed the cancer is and if it is in fact the lung cancer back ONCE again. We both know that this time is different. We show up at the oncologists office expecting to hear less than good news. I mean, let's be serious, anything to do with the liver and disease is not good news. What we heard - all the biopsies came back negative. ALL OF THEM. We saw the scans last week. Trust me, we have seen enough of these to know what cancer looks like. Dr. S. even said that there was nothing else it could be but disease (he doesn't use the "c" word). We accept this as nothing less than answer to prayer. Thank you all for your support and prayers this past week and always. We are just beyond shock and awe right now. We are so thrilled at this total turn of events that we plan a small party for our friends. Yes, take that cancer! Dr. S. wants to wait 6 weeks and do one more PTScan and if it comes back clean Joe would be totally released to return to work. To return to life. Return to normal - as most people know it.

There was a lot that happened in our family in 2014 but one fun thing Kaitlin and I went to California to my nephew's wedding and then we took a 4 day cruise out of Long Beach. She was on school break and we just needed a little get away from everything that happened (so far that year). When we got home there was an appointment scheduled for Joe where we would hear the results from the scans that were done ONCE AGAIN but this time, we knew it was gone. I mean the biopsies were all negative. It was just shadows. It couldn't be back AGAIN! It just couldn't.


I am not sure if hearing that cancer has returned really IS easier the 4th time or if it's just a constant state of being numb. Today's doctor results were NOT what we expected - at least not for me. Now, we wait to start the chemo again and once again wait on the edge for the words you want to hear - shrinking, no evidence of disease and clear scans. This time, the doctor said that the cancer probably wasn't ever going to go "away" but we would be always watching it to make sure it didn't grow or get out of control. Yeah - it does kinda suck.


The next 5 months are filled with chemo, family celebrations, funerals, several hospital visits and stays, too many doctor appointments, even more chemo, complications from treatments and so much family turmoil.

Is this ever going to end?