#metoo

When I was in high school I was accused by one of the school administrators of doing something that I did not do and the punishment was before school detention.  No matter how much I argued my innocence he would not budge HOWEVER - he did offer me an alternative to the detention.  How to put this - he told me that if I would sexually satisfy him he would ignore the (non)infraction.  I replied that I would just take the punishment which amounted to sitting in HIS office for 45 minutes before school started.  I don't know if it was entered into my school record or not - I never heard anything more about it.  I served my time and never encountered him again.

Years later on Facebook on a group page someone mentioned this person abusing them in high school  The amount of comments of "me too" that followed was overwhelming.  More and more information came out about this person and the faculty that helped him by standing guard while he took girls into a closet and abused them.  I was shocked!  I found out while talking to a cousin and MY BEST FRIEND since kindergarten that he had made inappropriate comments to them while in high school as well.  I found out that he had even gotten at least one girl pregnant. 

I'm sure by now you're asking why I never told anyone.  Well first, if I had told my grandmother/mother it would become my fault.  I am not blaming her or do I hold her responsible for my silence -  that's just the way it was then.  Teachers and principals and other people in academic authority were in charge.  They would "never do anything like that".   I never even told my boyfriend at that time.  Was it embarrassment and shame on MY part that kept me from telling anyone?  Knowing that the boyfriend would probably have confronted the administrator could have kept me from telling him.  I honestly don't remember.  I'm not sure I even thought this was "abuse".  I don't know that I ever labeled it.

While I was fortunate enough to only have this one incident, I have to wonder how many other girls  were put into that situation for things they did or did not do.   I don't know what ever happened to him - I heard he was living in Florida.  I don't care where he is.  I don't want to confront him.  I wish I had said something way back then and maybe it would have stopped.  Maybe he would have had to pay for his abuse over many many years.  This is why it is so important that we give our children a voice.  Teach them that no one ever EVER EVER can say or do ANYTHING to make them uncomfortable or hurt them.  Teach them that no means no - always - both saying it and hearing it.