My Rambling Thoughts

This week I heard the words The  Lord  God said, “It is not good for the  man  to be  alone . I will make a helper suitable for him.”             Genesis 2:18 I heard this as I was joined hand to hand with my future husband.   Future being moments away.  As we stood looking at each other with an excitement level higher than I've not know for way too long, Pastor Hartke reminded us both that we had been through a year that has been less than kind to us.  Marriage - a new start, a new life, a new family, a new me!  Our new marriage does not remove memories, both good and bad.  Our new marriage does not erase all the pain, sorrow and loss that these two  families have experienced over the years, especially this past year.  Our new marriage does not erase all the joys, blessings and happiness these two families have experienced over the years.   What we will do is daily, do our ...

I have had such an  extreme outpouring of love and support in the three months since Joe died that I could never thank you enough.  I love it when you talk about Joe.  I need to know that you miss him too.  He was a very "large" presence and his loss is even bigger.  I am a Christian and I do believe in Heaven and I know that Joe is in a much better place and that he is free from all pain and disease.  I also know that I will see him again and this faith keeps me going forward. I've had many people say to me "I can't imagine how you feel".  No, you can't, but I will try to describe it using words which are just words - not feelings - so it's still no where close to the real emotion. I feel that I can never fully catch my breath.  I am always anticipating, waiting, anxious. My heart feel like it's beating a thousand beats a minute. My heart aches - physically aches.  It's not a pain but more like a very bad bruise.  It rarely stop...

In The Presence of Jehovah - Lori Eckert    <-------Click Here Verse 1 In and out of situations That tug-a-war at me All day long I struggle For answers that I need Then I come into His presence All my questions become clear And for a sacred moment No doubt can interfere In the presence of Jehovah God Almighty Prince of Peace Troubles vanish hearts are mended In the presence of the King Verse 2 Through His love the Lord provided A place for us to rest A place to find the answers In hours of distress There is never any reason To give up in despair Just slip away and breathe His name He will surely meet you there Several years ago one of my dearest friends and I came to a very painful spot in our lives that ended with harsh words and hurt feelings.    I found myself in between  two friends and instead of taking the high road I chose the easier way and it cost me dearly.   Unfortunately, while that friendship has been repaired, it will never be lik...

My Rambling Thoughts: The History of Cancer in Joe Keresty : I've been asked by several people for more information about my husband Joe.  Many people in our lives  have been there since forever.  ...

I've been asked by several people for more information about my husband Joe.  Many people in our lives  have been there since forever.  Others we have met in real life and thru electronic media along the way. Those who lived these experiences with us - thank you.  Those who have joined us along the way - thank you.  Our support network is incredible in so many ways. In August 2006 Joe was diagnosed with Stage IV Throat and Neck cancer.  This started from a tumor at the base of his tongue that was never diagnosed or treated until it metastasized into his lymph nodes in his neck and the swelling became visible.  Well, not to us but to a family member who had not seen him in a few years.  Initial diagnosis from a ENT - you will be dead by the end of the month.  OK - his exact words when Joe said he had to go back to work for an important meeting 10 days after diagnosis and before starting treatment "You might have a  week but you don't ha...

Happy Birthday Jesus <------- (click me) Yesterday I was doing some last minute shopping for the Christmas Store for our Children's Department at church.  All year the children save their Bible Bucks to buy presents for their parents, siblings, family and even pets.  We've been busy stocking this with the coolest items for the kids to buy and we needed a few more items.  OK, 170 more items which I had in 2 carts at the store. Originally I was going to post the scenario I had with an obviously unhappy with life woman but I've changed my mind.  She stole enough of my joy yesterday.  Today I want to celebrate. I have to come to accept that not everyone celebrates Christmas.  I even understand that many that do, do not do it because of it being Jesus' Birthday and that's totally fine.  But you know what, I do. I will say Merry Christmas to people and not happy holiday's.  I will bake a birthday cake for Jesus for Christmas.  I will sing...

hate hāt/ verb 1 . feel intense or passionate dislike for (someone, something). "the boys hate each other" synonyms: loathe ,  detest ,  despise ,  dislike ,  abhor ,  execrate ; Yes, I know that hate is not an acceptable word especially in the Christian community but I hate cancer.  I hate the feelings it generates both with the patient and those around them.  Being involved with the American Cancer Society and Relay for Life I have learned a new term "caregiver".  A caregiver is anyone who helped to take care of someone with cancer.  It is usually a family member or close friend but today I am looking at the caregiver in terms of a spouse - me.   In my role of helping to take care of Joe over the past years and now with his third go round with this enemy cancer - in my mind, heart and soul - I am his wife.  In sickness and in health.  In good times and in bad.  I really don't like that whole ...